


Holby Asylum

by CllrNat



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 07:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16529804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CllrNat/pseuds/CllrNat
Summary: Bernie has been offered the post of CEO at Holby Psychiatric Hospital after being blown back to the UK.Serena is struggling with the loss of her only child and has agreed to receive medical assistance, the lesser of two evils offered her by Hansen.There is also a tiny twist in the tale as a small teaser to a Twitter friend - I hope she forgives me this slight exaggeration.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Berena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berena/gifts).



Chapter 1 

Holby Psychiatric Hospital was all abuzz with the news that their new CEO was on their way into the building.

A military person, 25 years experience in the Army, rising to the rank of a Major in the RAMC at that, so the gossiping porters relay anyway.

A well respected and World Renowned Trauma Surgeon, so her Wikipedia page advises, but they mumbled what the heck did she know about running a psychiatric hospital?

She’d been asked this exact same question by a trustee at her interview, she’d wanted to respond initially with “what did they themselves actually know about it? Plus, if they didn’t think she could do the job then why did they approach her and waste both her time and theirs with interviewing her?” 

But she had decided that after being blown to pieces by an IED and repaired expertly by Holby City Hospital’s Surgical Team, she could no longer perform in the field and on the front line as she had, so she needed another job.

It had almost killed her inside to have to decline the 10 year full commission she’d just been offered by the RAMC, but her family, well her children really, had persuaded her to remain here and told her they needed and wanted her to be alive.

Her husband Marcus had been all over her like a cheap suit when she’d made her announcement, but his touch, his mere presence had made her cringe inside. 

After years of being away from the family and a home she’d never lived in, she struggled to feel comfortable and to also be herself. There was nothing there, no yearning to settle, no feelings of contentment, just an incessant desire to flee from a life she’d never actually wanted.

Once upon a time, they’d been the best of friends, they’d attended University together, he’d professed his love to her for the whole 5 years of their course, but she was more interested in getting her medical degree over having any form of a relationship. 

Suddenly she found herself married, pregnant, a trainee Trauma Surgeon and an Officer in Her Majesty’s Forces. 

Marcus had always known her career came above everything else, but he was so determined she was going to be his, he accepted everything she demanded, even keeping her own name of Wolfe, she’d never liked the Dunn name anyway and had told him so, on numerous occasions.

She was never much of a fan of any of the Dunn family to be honest. Too pretentious for her liking. 

His mother and family had tried their best to dissuade him from marrying her but he was completely besotted and thought she’d change her mind once the baby was born. 

Wrong. 

He wanted the children, the two up two down house (or in his case 4 up, three down - why they needed all that space she would never know) with a garden and the white picket fence, she’d explained he could have them, but she would not give up the Army or her career, so not to expect any such thing as her being a doting little housewife. 

That life certainly wasn’t for her.

She’d told him this on their wedding night and he’d willingly agreed, because Berenice Griselda Wolfe had married him and he was on cloud nine.

The novelty soon wore off for him though. 

He was slowly building a reputation as an Orthopaedic Surgeon but he wasn’t known for anything special, truth be told he’d never really tried. 

Marcus was a mediocre surgeon, happy to be mediocre and with no desire to achieve anything beyond what was handed to him.

Unlike his pioneering wife who traveled the world, developed groundbreaking surgical techniques that changed the face of trauma medicine globally and earned her accolades within the field of Trauma Surgery. 

Her papers were printed in every medical journal throughout the world and she had been awarded an MBE in the New Years Honours List.

They’d eventually grown apart over the 25 years and he had begun to resent it that she had this fascinating life.

That his mother and sister continually dripping poisonous words in his ear didn’t help matters either.

She’d had a life altering experience while stationed on her last posting abroad. Realised something she’d regularly thought about since she was very young but kept well hidden, kept buried deep inside herself, until a certain brunette anaesthetist helped her to finally discover the real reason she’d put everyone off for all those years, including Marcus.

Anyway, that’s a topic for later, now where were we. 

She’d decided that if she could run an RAMC field hospital in the middle of a war zone and help soldiers live through life altering trauma and those suffering from PTSD, then she can sure as hell run one in the UK.

So she accepted this new challenge, she had been brought in due to the dreadful mismanagement the hospital had suffered under Mr. Guy Self.

There was also the disgusting mistreatments the patients had been subjected to by their previous Head of Surgery, Prof. John Gaskell.

There were many rumours going around that Gaskell had tormented staff making them question their own sanity, he’d play these stupid, dangerous games with vulnerable minds, well, because he could.

His favourite game was teasing Nurse Crimson until the brunette almost snapped, she still struggled on times but psychologically trauma can take a while to rectify, even in this facility. Her colleagues were very supportive and attempted to help her get through the bad times. 

Also rattling around were rumblings that he had even experimented on some of the more serious cases during the evenings when there was a skeleton staff and hey, who’s going to believe those with severe mental health issues claiming that Gaskell is like Dr. Frankenstein and experimenting on them.

He just made you believe they were hallucinating and needed their medication changed. 

Until Henrik Hansen from Holby City Hospital had uncovered his nefarious shenanigans, along with Roxanna Macmillan who had recently passed away under mysterious circumstances. It was her untimely death that had caused Henrik to begin independent investigations and ultimately causing the downfall of Prof. John Gaskell.

The whole hospital was on pins and having an unknown entity enter their close knit community caused a great deal of trepidation, however, there were many there who welcomed this ‘new broom’ to sweep away the muck currently getting attached to everyone working there. 

Bernie knew she would have a struggle on her hands, but as she’d recently told Marcus when asking for her divorce, she could cope because she was tough, bloody tough.

You didn’t become a Major in the Army and spend 25 years in the RAMC and not toughen up. 

She had seen things in the Middle East no human should ever see and the Health Authorities and Trustees were positive she could bring some much needed order to this current chaos.

She hadn’t wanted to leave the Army, as I’d previously mentioned she had just been offered a 10 year full commission and was a bit nervous about telling Marcus, but all that excitement and pride was taken away from her by a hidden IED that blew her back to civvy street with a damaged cervical vertebrae and a pseudo-aneurysm to boot. 

At the age of 50 she’s had to start all over again, her kids had grown and fled the nest, Marcus tried to make things seem rosy talking about electives and picking and choosing what work you would want to do. 

She couldn’t think of anything less exciting, she wanted, no needed and craved excitement in her work, the uncertainty of an outcome, having to think and reassess on your feet. That was what made her profession and her life worthwhile, actually gave it meaning.

He loved the Orthopaedic life and the mind numbing monotony of elective surgery, but that most definitely wasn’t Bernie’s cup of tea, she’d always been way more adventurous than him, many wondered why she even married him, she did on countless occasions.

As previously mentioned they were friends, they’d somehow slept together, once, and she’d stupidly gotten pregnant, so she married him.

She knew he loved her, he had told her enough before and during their marriage but she knew something was continually missing and when the RAMC came calling, offering her Trauma Specialisation and funding her continuing medical training she snapped their hands off, without a second thought for Marcus.

He should have known Bernie had this stubbornness about her, that independent streak such as when she refused to take his name, she was no one’s possession. 

She was a Wolfe by name, Wolfe by nature and would always remain a Wolfe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena’s entrance and Nurse Crimson’s search continues.  
> Bernie and Serena get their first view of each other.

Chapter 2

She parked her shiny new MX5 or as Marcus and his family snidely put it, her mid-life crisis into her personal parking space. It might be an MLC present for herself but more interesting than a flipping silver Volvo, her ex-husband, oh that sounds great saying that and his morose family all drive them. Now I’m not saying Volvo’s are boring but they aren’t a super sexy sports car now are they.

So, she carefully got out of the beautiful new car, stood militarily erect, shoulders back, took some deep breaths, fixed a smile on those thin lips and then marched into her new domain, well aware of all the eyes observing her.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a nurse, she knew she was a nurse because she wore a nurses uniform - dead giveaway, she had dark hair and was asking questions of any person she saw pass her by. 

Everyone she questioned just shook their head at her, obviously they were unable to give her the answer she was looking for. 

Bernie was beyond curious to know what she could be searching for, but before she got close enough to ask, the woman had disappeared back inside the building.

As Bernie approached the entrance, an ambulance pulled up right in front of her, she stopped by the doorway to watch what was happening, also to see how newcomers were actually treated when the staff didn’t realise they were being observed.

The door to the vehicle opened and an astounding brunette with flecks of grey throughout her hair was being gently assisted to get down from the back. 

Bernie instantly felt her breath being sucked from her body at the devastating beauty of the woman, however, her eyes, that should have been sparkling and bright with life, were sad, dull and lifeless as she stared straight ahead. 

She was being helped into a wheelchair in order to be taken onto the ward.

Bernie saw a sudden flicker of life ignite a spark in those eyes as they met hers, and the woman maintained complete eye contact with her until she could no longer see Bernie, then she turned her head around and the blonde noticed her shoulders slump and her head fall forward as if in defeat and resignation.

Bernie felt her heart clench at the sight of the beautiful woman who had instantly caught her attention.

Trust it to be at her new place of work she finally finds what she’s been searching decades for.

The woman in question was none other than Ms. Serena Wendy Campbell MD, MBA, FRCS. Who had recently lost her only child, her self-centred, petulant, beautiful daughter, Elinor.

Yes she was spoilt, hard-headed, self-centred and drug-taking, her now dead daughter Elinor, but despite all of these things, she had still been her baby girl.

Her beautiful baby daughter, who may still be alive if that infernally stupid F1, Dr. that’s a bloody misnomer calling her that, Jasmine Burrows, had completed the basic trauma checks properly. 

Had she not permitted Elinor to push her aside with her stubborn will, not been intimidated by her just because she was Serena Campbell’s daughter.

She knew she had been making Jasmine’s life hell since returning to work after her bereavement leave, relishing in it actually, but she was adamant the girl would learn from her error in judgment.

Her goal, was to make sure no one else’s child died because of her error. Serena was determined Jasmine would bloody well learn the hard way and boy was she pushing her hard.

However, the last straw was being witnessed pushing her hard by Henrik Hansen and Jac Naylor, telling Jasmine she wished it was her that was in the ground and not her beautiful Elinor. 

Just before she broke down in floods of tears, right there on her own ward of all places. How absolutely embarrassing.

I haven’t mentioned that Jasmine is Jac’s sister have I? Estranged but still ….

As soon as the words left Serena’s mouth, she knew that was the last straw for her sanity, also the hospital’s tolerance of her behaviour was well and truly exhausted.

She had been given two choices; get medical help or get fired.

She loved her job with all her heart, plus it’s all she had left in her life now. If she lost that then life would no longer be worth living. She needed something to look forward to. 

So, she chose the path of least resistance or so she thought.

She chose help, however, that help was to accept intensive, residential treatment and she had no option because unknown to her Henrik had applied for her to be sectioned if she refused to go voluntarily.

So she voluntarily left Holby City Hospital, had a quick visit home to finalise things for a while, gave her house keys to Rik, then dejectedly got into the ambulance that had arrived to transport her the short distance from her home back to the hospital grounds for her treatment.

Holby Psychiatric Hospital was not far from her place of work. She sat in the back of the vehicle and traveled the short distance to the establishment.

She couldn’t believe how things had gotten this low. She had sunk to such a depth she was unsure whether she could swim out of this place she was wallowing in.

Staring straight ahead, her brown eyes dimmed of any light, as all of the fight had fled from her and any hope of redemption seemed forever beyond her grasp.

The ambulance staff attempted to talk to her but she blocked them out, until all sound was just a distant hum on the periphery of her receding awareness.

She finally became lost in her world of grief and desperation. 

There was nothing remaining for her to want to get better for; she was nobody’s wife, no longer a mother, not a daughter, barely even a good doctor.

She may as well just give up, she was 50 and had nothing to live for anymore, her whole existence was pointless.

The ambulance came to a stop and as the doors opened the staff helped her down, she’d almost gotten into a catatonic state, but as they helped her to sit in the waiting wheelchair, her eyes met the hazel ones of an astonishingly stunning blonde.

Her eyes sparked to life for just a moment and she maintained eye contact with her, until it physically hurt to strain her neck around as she was wheeled away.

Once her eye contact was lost she slumped down in the chair and finally let herself become a patient, desperate and willing to be healed.

Bernie felt as if something momentous had just occurred in her life, what, she didn’t know but it was definitely something quite profound and life altering.

Checking the wall map she located her office and began to make her way there.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling in, getting bearings and we finally find out what Nurse Nic Crimson is searching for.

Chapter 3

She had memorised the layout of the building in minimal time, as she was trained to do so for the past 25 years. Learning the entrances, exits, emergency doors, basement and any relaxation areas for a smoke such as a garden or roof, the usual smoking areas for staff in any hospital.

As she walked the corridor to finally enter the ward for her first look around as the official CEO, she encountered that dark haired nurse searching in odd areas once again. She must’ve searched the whole place by now, thought Bernie, either she’s lost something or she’s doing thorough checks of all the ‘dead’ areas of the hospital for Health and Safety, both as boring really.

Again she knew she was a nurse because she was wearing a nurses uniform, if she hadn’t been Bernie might have thought she was a resident of the hospital. Her eyes were wide and looking everywhere, this one is close to snapping and needs an eyes kept on her or she’ll be off with stress and anxiety. She made a note to mention to Fletch, who was Director of Nursing. See what she could do for her before it got out of hand.

Walking over to her, Bernie coughs gently to gain her attention.

‘Ahem, hello, are you looking for something? Have you lost….’

She didn’t get the chance to finish off her sentence before the woman looked up at her pointedly, looked her over and I mean giving her a good old check out before interrupting her.

‘Who are you the then?’

‘I’m Major Bernie Wolfe and I’ve just started working here’, this was said with her ultra calm voice, ‘May I ask who you are?’

‘I’m Nurse Crimson or you can call me Nic if you prefer.’

‘Nice to meet you Nurse Crimson’ and Bernie offered her hand to shake.

Nic looked at her hand as if it was a snake about to bite her, then she checked herself and took the pro-offered hand, while saying,

‘Nice to meet you too.’

Bernie once again asking her if she had lost anything but Nic just shrugged non-committal and makes her excuses to return to the ward, explaining her break was over. 

Bernie stands and watches her scamper off down the corridor.

She is met just outside the double doors of the main ward, by the Chief Consultant, overseeing the Counselling of all the patients, Mr. Sasha Levy. He came across as a very calm and gentle man with a warm smile and kind eyes.

Sasha took the time to show Bernie around and introduced her to the staff who were present today, they included:

Dr. Dominic (Dom) Copeland - in his 3rd year of Specialising and Sasha’s right hand man. 

Sister Donna Jackson - recently made Ward Sister, upon Fletch’s promotion.

Nurse Adrian (Fletch) Fletcher - newly appointed Director of Nursing at Holby.

Last but by no means least, Nurse Nic Crimson - Psychiatric Nurse, who still seemed preoccupied by something that nobody else seemed to notice. 

Bernie thought this was odd as Sasha apologises for her, but She let him know they’d already met. 

Neither were aware of what she was constantly searching for. Dom overheard this part of the conversation and muttered to them,

‘She’s searching for her mug.’

‘Her mug?’ They exclaimed together. 

‘Yes.’

They thought this would be the end of the matter, how wrong were they.

 

At the rear of the building, Serena Wendy Campbell MD FRCS stopped being a doctor who cared for her patients for a while and willingly became the patient, finally relaxing her body and her mind, for the first time in god knows how long.

She accepted that she had to do this, so decided to get herself the all inclusive luxury package, complete with free drugs, counselling, massage therapy, use of a health suite all under the supervision of professional medical personnel.

Since she is being forced to come here, she may as well make the most of all that’s on offer, she then wondered if that blonde she’d not been able to break eye contact with at the entrance worked here, would she manage to get any 1 on 1 action with her? 

Where the hell did that thought come from Campbell? Why the heck are you thinking about a woman? You haven’t done that in quite a while. Hmmmm.

A noise coming from outside in the corridor brought her out of her musings, she moved quickly to the doorway and noticed a dark haired nurse, searching the rooms and the trolleys for something.

Coughing slightly, Serena caught her attention and smiled at her. 

‘Hello, have you lost something? Can I help you look?’

The nurse smiled back, offering the woman a beaming smile because nobody had offered to help her look before.

‘Hi I’m Nurse Nic, have you seen my mug?’

Serena looks back over her shoulder, taking in the limited view of her room, but couldn’t find anything resembling a mug in there. 

The Nurse thanked her and moved off down the passage continuing her search.

It was still light outside so Serena deciding she needed some things and wanted them in this order; 

some fresh air to blow away the staleness and cobwebs in her head,   
to explore the grounds outside, getting fresh air in her lungs and having a little light exercise before food   
And because she’s just had a small nap she was also peckish.

She’d been told where the dining room and lounge were situated so set out to locate them both via a route that took her outside.

‘This’ll be interesting now won’t it Campbell?’


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They actually speak. Nurse Crimson gets a rest in this one.

Chapter 4

Bernie had been shown around the majority of the hospital grounds and she was now taking some time out from the hustle and bustle of her busy office, to sit in this tranquil place, which has a peaceful garden area off to one side. 

There were some trees planted and birds were playing and singing in the uppermost branches on this beautiful, bright day. 

She was almost certain that she noticed the fluffy tail of a tiny red squirrel disappearing through the foliage, causing her to reminisce on her earlier years playing in the woods surrounding her parents home in West Wales.

Those halcyon days of youth before Marcus came along professing undying love and adulthood came along to make her take responsibility. 

She’d always planned to join the Army after University, training to be a Trauma Surgeon. She wanted the extraordinary, not electives. She wanted adventures not humdrum. 

Marcus could never understand that side of her, no matter how much she explained it to him. He should have chosen a good little housewife but no, she was a challenge, one he thought he could change. 

He obviously never knew her at all. 

She chose to sit on a wooden memorial bench situated in a private space, sitting down and playing with her cigarette packet had become a ritual of sorts, especially when musing over her recent life altering decisions. 

Always considering whether to finally succumb and smoke one, but this time she was disturbed by footsteps approaching from the direction of the other footpath.

A vision came into view, and what a breathtaking vision it was. 

The brunette, the one from the ambulance this morning, the one she’d not been able to take her eyes from, the one who’d taken her breath away, walked down the path and sat on the bench just around the corner from Bernie.

She probably hadn’t seen Bernie, because her head was down and her eyes hadn’t left her own wringing hands. 

It was evident to anyone with eyes that she was conducting an internal monologue from the way her lips silently moved. 

She looked sad, so extremely devastated and the melancholy radiating her pain from this far away.

With a huge sigh, she placed her hands either side of her legs, took another large breathe in through her nose and as she slowly exhaled from her mouth, those lips parted and she raised her head, ready to face the world.

Suddenly noticing Bernie sat across the garden, that unforgettable blonde from this morning, she caught her breath as their eyes met, feeling sudden sparks of electricity shoot throughout her entire body. 

That’s something new too Campbell, hmmm.

Serena smiled, nodding towards the cigarette she saw the blonde was tapping on the packet and enquiring:

‘I think you’re supposed to light it’ as she signals in its direction.

‘Hmmm!’ Was Bernie’s non-response.

‘I’d prefer a nice glass of Shiraz, personally.’

‘Now that’s more like it, Shiraz and a fag,’ Bernie states, finally in the here and now after dragging herself back from her daydreaming about this mystery woman. 

Her body still feeling the aftershocks of their eye contact and what it had done to her.

That was something new Wolfe, wasn’t it? Never felt like that before eh!

‘Ah a girl after my own heart’ Serena mutters, as she then looks away from those penetrating, hooded and brooding eyes. 

‘Indeed, or with a nice hot and strong coffee,’ Bernie acknowledges as she tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear and lowering her eyes, afraid she’d made the other woman uncomfortable with her gaze.

Serena gets up and awkwardly excuses herself, explaining to the mysterious blonde that she needed to get some food and more importantly, a coffee. 

She explained that she hadn’t had sustenance at all today and to make sure she didn’t get too crabby, she thought food would be a pleasant distraction. 

As she left, she threw an invitation back to the blonde.

‘Should you ever fancy a coffee and a chat just look out for me. I’m not going anywhere.’ 

She gave a deep, wry laugh at that statement, as if having an internal joke with herself.

‘Bye the way, the name is Serena Campbell.’

Bernie rose, took the proffered hand to shake, and just told her:

‘Bernie, lovely to make your acquaintance Serena Campbell. If I’m here and I fancy a …. coffee, I’ll be very sure to seek you out. Be rest assured of that.’

As she walked away, she felt those eyes following her, so she added a sway to her generous hips, making very sure the blonde noticed her.

Why the heck are you doing that Campbell? 

She felt an instant affinity to the blonde woman, what, she didn’t know. But whenever she closed her eyes there the blonde vision was.

Bernie couldn’t pull her eyes away from the rapidly retreating brunette, the sway of those hips, was she swinging them more than normal, she was, little minx.

Her mouth went dry and it was increasingly difficult to swallow, she knew she was caught. 

Hook, line and sinker.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena are still settling in and oh I might have some idea where Nic’s mug is.

Chapter 5

Just as she was walking back to her office Bernie stopped to look through the windows into the large canteen area. 

She was used to eating in a Mess environment, with loads of other people all eating at the same time and drowning out the accumulation of noise. 

This room was sterile, large and acoustically loud and the lighting extremely bright, she watched as some diners ate alone but shook in fear, some groups whispered so their words weren’t carried on the air and all the while nurses and orderlies were patrolling the circumference like prison wardens.

This was a hospital for vulnerable people, not a flipping prison she thought quite angrily. They’re scared enough about being here, the last thing they needed was to feel intimidated when trying to eat and socialise.

Turning smartly on her heels, she marched directly to her office determined to get things changed immediately, smiling when she saw Nurse Nic still looking through the linen and scrubs cupboard.

Serena had grabbed a coffee, quiche with salad and a chocolate crunch with pink custard. She was quite excited by that lovely sight, she hadn’t had this dessert since before the Millennium.

Picking through her bland salad and the undercooked pastry of her quiche, she did one of her favourite pastimes, people watching. 

As she perused the room she saw a variety of sociological dynamics, the one thing she found disturbing was the nursing staff patrolling the grounds in an odd intimidating manner. 

It was only the fact that they wore scrubs that prevented her from thinking that it was just like a prison. 

She’d almost made a full circuit of the room with her eyes when she saw for a brief moment a flash of blonde hair at the window. Shaking her head in confusion she thought she’d seen Bernie peering in at everyone, but she must have been mistaken for when she returned her gaze to the door there was nobody outside.

Since no alcohol was permitted in the hospital, plus she’d already drunk this months quota she focused her attention back to her more than adequate coffee and took pleasure in every sip. Closing her eyes and humming her appreciation, she relaxed and just went with the flow of the day.

Bernie had finally made it to her official office where she made herself a flat white on the machine she’d insisted had to be in there as part of her employment package. 

Finding a nice new mug with some rainbow colours and a well known lesbian couple kissing on it. She thought this was quite funny to have in a cupboard full of typically standard white hospital cups and saucers. 

Sitting in her comfortable, high backed chair she nudged off her shoes while the coffee percolated in the machine and slipped into a new pair of slippers. 

Reaching over to her right she switched on the cctv system so she could keep an eye on what was occurring on the grounds.

As she flicked from screen to screen, she noticed the brunette, Serena she believed her name was, if her memory served her well. It usually did. 

Especially when it involved absolutely stunning individuals, whose she kidding not just individuals, but women and most certainly she remembers Serena Campbell.

She meant an absolutely stunning woman with eyes to melt in, a voice to drown in and a body to die for. 

If you hadn’t guessed already, Major Bernie Wolfe was a lover of women. 

Always was, always had been, despite succumbing to Marcus when absolutely smashed one night and because that was the done (not Dunne) thing at the time. 

It meant it also protected her in the less than open military.

Now though, she didn’t care, she was gay and had a lifetime to make up for. 

As she focused on Serena sipping her coffee, she noted when her tongue flicked out to prevent any dripping on her. 

As if she knew she was being watched she lifted her brunette head and just stared at the camera, while Bernie drank her coffee imagining they could both see each other.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling into new slippers

Chapter 6

Upon finishing her perfectly made coffee, Bernie reaches into her normally securely locked filing cabinet and searched through it until she had located Ms. Serena W. Campbell’s medical file.

Well she had to get familiarised with all the residents files so may as well start with one that motivated her to do so this early in the day.

Ms. Serena Wendy Campbell, 50, Consultant Vascular Surgeon at Holby City Hospital. 

Well, that’s a bit close to home isn’t it, she thought, then she saw the very thorough and personal affidavits from Henrik Hansen, Rik Griffin and even their very own Sasha Levy and Adrian Fletcher.

Serena was very well respected and highly regarded by all her colleagues, so how had she ended up in her care. 

Regrettably, she’d had a few shitty years:

Alcoholic ex-husband attempted to blame her for his negligence during an operation, he was an anaesthetist and had turned up drunk for work almost killing a patient. Attempted to put the blame Serena’s way, until she found out he was attempting to push her under the bus. So much for a reconciliation.

Deceased mother had been living with Alzheimer’s for a long time and Serena struggled alone with her care and the physical and verbal abuse the woman doled out. Sasha was her mother’s Consultant and had begged Serena to get her so private care and take some stress off her home life. Rumours ran riot with bloody porters (vile nasty gossips who you’d think had better things to do, apparently not) spreading malicious gossip that Serena was the perpetrator of the abuse rather than being the helpless victim. It was only when her mother attacked her in public and her scars became evident did people finally realise.

Recently deceased daughter died after driving on drugs and vast amounts of bile from not getting her own way, causing an RTA on Hospital grounds almost killing Serena in the process. Serena’s self blame and unwarranted hindsight, beating herself up over if only’s.

Returning to work too early while still grieving and proceeded to bully the F1 who she discovered had lied about performing the basic routine trauma check up after Eleanor’s car crash and head injury. If it had been done the internal brain damage caused by the accident may have been diagnosed.

Each of the above incidents on their own were traumatic enough to cause someone to have an actual breakdown, but to have experienced all 4 in such a short time and to have been expected to manage it all alone was enough to break the strongest of minds.

This woman needed complete and utter peace for her soul, total psychological and emotional rest and also to finally learn how to put her own needs and well-being before the needs of others. 

As a Consultant Vascular Surgeon she needs to be able to work at optimum levels of control and currently that most certainly isn’t happening, thought Bernie. 

Signing in with her CEO login details, Bernie began to type her recommendations on the computer system for a working recovery plan for her newest patient. 

Believing that a fresh pair of eyes can normally provide a more objective point of view to any case:

Structured Interview to diagnose her Trauma and determine any Complex PTSD issues.  
Psychoeducation - she’s a Surgeon and not a psychologist.  
Lifeline - working through life experiences.   
Narrative Exposure Therapy Treatment.  
Prolonged Exposure Therapy Treatment - unless change dictates otherwise.

Let’s get these first few things underway in the future set of appointments as soon as possible and we can begin to take things from there.

Bernie sat there musing over how cooperative Ms. Campbell will be in this process and would she accept and acknowledge that she has a Complex Trauma problem?

Only way to find out was to arrange an appointment with Ms. Serena Campbell, sooner the better really.

Bernie reached for her phone and opened her calendar to see what was on her rota for today.

Sending emails, messages and tweets to relevant personnel, she made herself another coffee while waiting for her responses.

Coffee made. Next patient file. 

The afternoon flew by much the same as the morning with a rush of files, responding to returned emails and messages, then scheduling appointments to ensure she was busy enough over the next couple of weeks.

She barely had time to look for Serena Campbell on the CCTV and hospital cameras over the remainder of the week. However, her new morning briefings ensured she kept abreast of all their residential patients.

She was beginning to implement way more positive changes too and happily the feedback from patients and their families let her know she was on the right path. 

They were only small changes but Bernie felt they made a huge difference to the mental health and belief system of the patients.

Gone were the huge bunches of keys, so staff looked exactly like the nursing staff they were and not prison wardens. Staff welcoming this change just as much as the patients. Entry was now gained via biometric systems; so no keys or cards required for getting in or to be lost, which usually cost quite a bit each month. 

She had gotten a great deal from her old Superior Officer and the Military were only too pleased to begin to get involved in this scheme, especially once discussions of PTSD and Complex PTSD to ex-servicemen was discussed.

The plastic tables and chairs in all the communal areas and dining room areas were gone and replaced with proper furniture that was less like a hospital and more like home, the lighting also changed from fluorescent tube lighting to a relaxing ambient lighting. Everything to relieve anxiety and stress to promote wellbeing in every instance.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changes were happening right under their noses.

Chapter 7

Serena was actually finding out that contrary to popular opinion, the hospital was really a very relaxing place to get settled into.

She was really pleased with herself, because of the various therapies she had been attending of her own volition and then also how differently she was left feeling by filling her life with mindfulness activities.

Things that stopped her from wallowing in self pity about Eleanor’s death and ……… well that’s enough of that anyway, she truly felt that deep down inside she wouldn’t be residing here for too long.

So happy that it was nothing like she’d initially expected it to be and then recently, finding it had changed in small but somewhat significant ways.

The nursing staff were also behaving very differently, mostly for the better and those loud, intimidating bunches of keys they’d worn as a ‘Badge if Honour’ had mysteriously disappeared overnight. 

They’d reminded her of those wardens from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, along with some of the other hilarious scenes that had scarily popped into her mind at one point during her conversation with Henrik.

Odd how we have all these weird expectations fluttering through our subconscious minds, she should have realised it really, what with her own profession. 

Her very own work life was nothing like TV portrayed it, with programmes such as Casualty or Grey’s Anatomy, so why would this be anything like a show.

She caught herself having a chuckle comparing Nurse Adrian Fletcher to Nurse Ratched played by the lovely actress, Louise Fletcher.

Then the communal dining areas had become more like an actual dining room and less like an all-night service station or an overly bright school dining hall. There was ambient lighting, situated all around the place giving it a very homely feel rather than big, bright, fluorescent tubes making it look sterile and all hospitally.

Also, the seating was getting just like your home would be, in came the settees, the Sherlock chairs and recliner seats and out went the rock hard, orange, plastic, stacking school chairs.

She had recollected that there had been whispers circulating around the Upper echelons of the NHS, of an ideas person who had been revolutionising hospital care by introducing some of their own tried and tested military ideas. 

She eventually remembered hearing more about it from Henrik, remembers being told something about a brand new Chief Executive Officer taking the reins at The Holby Asylum; some Major and a Consultant Surgeon to boot, who had been brought in from the military after an injury, to sweep through and implement fresh changes and innovations. 

She must say, from what she had seen so far, it was actually moving along on just the right track and as a professional and now as a patient, she could appreciate what was being done for both patients and staff to make things better for all of those involved. 

She had also come to another very swift and astonishing realisation, about herself on her arrival at The Asylum. 

It was exceedingly odd the feelings that were being stirred like hot coals so intensely within her, just by making direct eye contact with the woman she later found out was called Bernie. 

As previously mentioned she’d actually began to participate in the daily, group therapy sessions and then later, in order to unwind at the end of the day, she had set herself a gentle routine of relaxing in the early evening.

Situating herself at the exact centre of the Tranquility and Peace garden, listening to the gently bubbling water, small song birds singing and the occasional squirrel seen scurrying through the branches. 

After they were spied running away with some nuts, that had been left out for them, on the table for just that reason.

She had begun returning to this exact same place on a daily basis, to this specific location where, she realised, she’d actually been swept off her feet by the blonde with the messy hair and lovely voice. 

She kept coming here with a secret expectation if she was brutally honest with herself, to finally chance upon seeing Bernie, once again. 

How could she actually get around to having a coffee with the woman, if she could never find or locate her on the Asylum grounds?

Serena was noticing many more subtle changes happening as the next few weeks went flying by. Pleasant things that made her physically smile, Bernie knew when things pleased her by the way she held herself, where she walked, smiles that lit her eyes or spread across her face. 

All these subtleties were viewed through the lenses of various hidden cameras, as Bernie permitted Serena’s Care Plan to take effect. Bernie wasn’t only targeting Serena’s treatment, just in case you had stalker lesbian on your mind. 

No, she had worked through and watched with thorough care and attention, all of the other sectioned patients too and completed thorough assessments of her covert observations in the patients files, ready to make comparisons with their lead caseworker.

As CEO her desires to assist her patients mental health development was much more important to her than any of her own carnal desires. She was however, desperate to hear Serena’s melodious voice again, to determine from personal interaction how her treatment was going according to her and whether either of them felt there were any further changes required.

She wasn’t targeting her but felt that as Serena was a fellow professional medic she may like to discuss her case apart from the others. She would just like to give her the option.

She called Sasha to arrange a meeting with him and his staff in her office for tomorrow, so that they can determine how all the patients are progressing with her new treatment plans and how they found implementing them.

This would be quite an eye-opener for Bernie, to see how open the NHS staff were compared to her decades of dealing with military personnel. Being so used to receiving regular, basic honesty from other soldiers who were trained in forthright communication for the betterment of the colleagues they were treating. 

Compared to receiving minimal patient updates that were given begrudgingly and to make it more about the medical professionals who are desperate for regrading, praise and climbing the NHS ladder. 

As the end of the day finally approached, Bernie checked the monitor screen in the corner, the screen that had a picture from every camera displayed on it. She saw that Serena was making her way to her evening relaxation in the garden, but today her head wasn’t held as high as usual, there was a drag to her steps but she could feel something was missing. 

She reached her slender hand out towards the screen as if her energy could be sent through her long fingers to reach the other woman. Suddenly she saw Serena hesitate in her walk, she stopped and looked around as if searching for something, shrugged when nothing was discovered, then carried on to the garden.

Bernie had just made herself a coffee from her machine, it didn’t take long to make another one. Signing off from her computer system, then getting her bag and coat ready to leave, she locked her office door, checking it was secure and then carried the two coffees with her outside to the Tranquility Garden.

As her footsteps echoed off the path she saw the brunette lift her head to see who it was disturbing her solitude, but as soon as they made eye contact with each other, the broadest of grins spreading over both of their faces, told each woman that they had been desperately and sorely missed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chatting in the Peace Garden over coffee. Chatting about a certain mug she found

Chapter 8

They sat together in total silence for the time it took their coffees to be consumed. Bernie had to admit it was well worth splashing out on the rather expensive drinks machine, especially since it meant she got to have a decent hit of caffeine whenever she wanted or needed one.

Serena seemed to agree about the taste if the hums of delight accompanying each sip were anything to go by. Her drink was finished far sooner than the blonde’s, since the only other cup she had found available from her office were from the set of simple white mugs, the standard sets assigned for meeting rooms.

Serena however, was impressed by the colourful and quite openly lesbian mug that Bernie was drinking from, smiling at the depiction of two older women in a loving embrace, tenderly kissing in an office environment if she wasn’t very much mistaken.

Bernie noticed that the majority of her attention was now being paid to the scene in her hand and smiled at the brunette after studying the mugs scene for a short time, while Serena simply raised both eyebrows and grinned quite suggestively at the scene being portrayed.

‘Your personal coffee mug is it?’ Serena attempted to initiate a conversation, rather than having an awkward silence brought on by looking at the women kissing. Before they’d noticed the theme they’d sat in very comfortable and companionable silence.

‘Oh no, I found it in my office on my first day and thought it was bigger and nicer than the bog standard white NHS issue. Can’t abide a tiny coffee cup personally. I also thought it was a personal joke on behalf of the dinosaurs on the board, so decided to ‘own it’, as they say, rather than let it bug me or rile me.’

Serena sat there open mouthed in shock. 

Bernie hung her head down and felt quite shameful, letting her fringe cover her cheeks, that were bright red embarrassment and breaking all eye contact. She began by apologising profusely, she then continues to stammer at Serena that she’s so very sorry for coming out to her that way, she explained that she keeps forgetting and not quite realising that some people do not understand and take offence at being told these things. 

She actually thought the brunette would have been ok with the disclosure for some reason, she didn’t know or realise it would offend her quite so much. Her reaction was not what she expected one little bit.

Serena began a nervous chuckle, which annoyed Bernie so much she instantly stood to attention and was about to be quite forcefully with her equalities speech, when a gentle hand was wrapping itself around her wrist slowly tugging her to sit back down beside her.

As she sits, rather stiffly and ramrod straight, Serena lifts her other hand to the blonde’s hair and brushes it away from her face in order to uncover her gorgeous caramel coloured eyes. Well Serena definitely thought they were gorgeous. 

‘Look at me Bernie’, she hears some force behind the gentle words and as she looks up Serena is smiling at her but not just with her mouth, the smile is taken up by all the muscles of the face and most especially her beautiful dark brown eyes.

‘I apologise my dear, I certainly wasn’t laughing at you disclosing your sexuality, I was actually laughing because that’s the most words I’ve heard from you at one time, despite only meeting you twice. I’d have loved to have had more coffees with you but you omitted to give me your contact details the last time we met.’

Bernie sat there just staring at the brunette in complete and utter shock. 

‘Really? You’d really like to spend some time together? Why didn’t you mention to anyone here, they’d have passed the message on to me.’

‘Why would I let others get involved? No, oh dear no, it has nothing to do with anyone else, I just thought we could have had a coffee together and get to know each other better, like you mentioned before but you never said how to let you know or how to get in touch with you.’

‘Didn’t I?’ Bernie was shocked that she’d failed so magnificently in connecting with this amazing woman who had taken her breath away. ‘How monumentally stupid of me. You only have to knock on my door and we can have a coffee and a chat at anytime, if I’m not rushed off my feet.’

Touching the back of Serena’s hand, that was still wrapped around her wrist. 

Serena sat still, watching Bernie’s fingers gently caressing her hand, being careful not to move too suddenly, scared the blonde would flee in terror if she realises exactly what she was doing right now.

The bell rung to notify everyone at the Asylum that dinner was ready to be served. 

Bernie and Serena were jolted out of their own personal bubbles of contentment, Bernie picked up both cups to take back to her room for cleaning, with Serena straightening her blouse and trousers from sitting at an angle and talking for so long. 

Because they were both rushing off again without passing on details, Serena suddenly realised Bernie was going to be gone from her life without knowing where she was. She instantly realised she wasn’t prepared for this to happen and almost had an anxiety attack there and then.

She found herself crying out loud for Bernie to stop. Hearing the utter panic in Serena’s voice, the blonde immediately stopped and turned around ready to return to her side instantly, however, seeing the concern evident in those gorgeous caramel eyes calmed Serena’s anxiety and she relaxed enough to calmly ask:

‘So, how do I find you, should I need you?’

‘Oh, did I forget again, I’m sorry, just ask to see Major Wolfe.’

With that she winked, saluted her and in an instant was gone from sight.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wishful thinking

Chapter 9

‘Major Bloody Wolfe be damned.’ 

Serena is poleaxed in place by the absolutely shocking revelation. She had been hearing that name from all quarters of the hospital, most of it positive and especially relating to all the brilliant changes that have recently been implemented.

It has been made a lot more accommodating to the inhabitants on such a compassionate level:

i. How she’d made it seem a lot less like a Victorian Sanatorium with those massive ring of keys, clanking on the thigh with every step taken, traumatising vulnerable patients into gibbering wrecks in the corners of their rooms; 

ii. What she had altered in the dining area, altering the lighting, all the furniture, proper dining tables, so it was less like a service station or classroom, making them feel more as if they are at home rather than securely incarcerated in an institutional establishment; 

iii. Group Counselling chatting cordially with the other patients allowing them to feel less isolated, less different and to acknowledge their pain amongst others, to let them know that there are many others in the same situation.

Rumours were rife that more changes were swiftly coming and Serena was the type of person who likes to understand how others think, she is so inquisitive but that has always been her strength or weakness depending on how you view things.

Obviously those that admire the Vascular Surgeon consider it one of her main strengths that make her an excellent Deputy CEO, however, it’s also the one trait that certain board members consider a weakness because her Harvard MBA far outweighs any of their own personal experiences, ensuring that these same people will always put a block on her achieving her goal of CEO of Holby City Hospital.

As the brunette sat down at her chosen dining table she began to visualise conversations between herself and Major Wolfe, discussing topics from their favourite coffee to the most challenging operations they had ever performed, she continued to daydream in this vain until she was finally touched on the shoulder to advise her the dining room needed to close for cleaning.

Apologising profusely for her tardiness to exit she didn’t want to let them know she’d been daydreaming about a woman she’d just recently met. They’d definitely be psychoanalysing her more than they are now. 

As she strolled along the corridor with her head still in the clouds she saw that nurse once again, the one constantly touching and searching things, apparently she’d lost something but Serena had just realised she’d always been a little too preoccupied to actually ask the young woman exactly what it was she was searching for.

‘Still not found it then?’ She asked Nurse Crimson in a cheerful tone.

‘No I haven’t, but thank you for asking.’

‘I hope you don’t mind telling me but what exactly have you lost? I’ve been here three weeks now and you’re still hunting high and low.’

‘It’s a mug’ the nurse says quite bashful, ‘but not just any old mug, it was a present from a close friend and I’d hate to tell her it’s lost after all the effort she went through to get it for me. It has …….’ here the young woman stares at her feet as she quietly discloses, ‘my two favourite actresses kissing on it.’

At that declaration she seemed so embarrassed she quickly excused herself and scuttled off as fast as her sensible nurses shoes permitted. Shyly glancing back at Serena, who was watching her thoughtfully, as she rounded the corner. 

Something rang a bell in her mind but she couldn’t for the life of her remember what it was, couldn’t quite put her finger on the thought that hovered just out of reach.

Bernie was sat reviewing her next set of changes to be implemented when she noticed movement from the corner of her eye. The screen showed the area near the dining room which should have been quite at this time of the evening before the night staff came on shift. 

Instantly recognisable with her distinctive hair colouring, Bernie would recognise that profile anywhere, she’d seen it in her dreams often enough of late, was Serena. She stood talking quite pleasantly enough to that nervous young nurse who was always searching around the hospital for something, news had made it to Bernie’s ears that Gaskell had played psychological mind games with this young lady, so she was prone to be more lenient. However, she had instructed Sasha Levy that she expected her to receive some urgent pastoral care to get to the bottom of her anxiety.

Her heart skipped a beat at the care and compassion shown on the brunette’s face and those eyes, oh, they did things to Bernie that was unique to her alone. She’d certainly never felt this way with Marcus or Alex and she’d only been in contact with the woman for a few weeks, but she instantly knew she was special the instant she laid eyes on her that very first day.

Watching as she walked the corridors back to her private room, Bernie sipped her coffee making pleasurable sounds; not quite certain whether it was due to the taste of the coffee beans or the seductive sway of those astounding hips. The sigh that escaped her lips was a certain indication to the blonde that she was most certainly in trouble, a deep, sensual, pleasurable trouble she was completely accepting of.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena makes a tentative move

Chapter 10

Serena had been here for a month now and for the first day in a very long time she woke feeling fresh, with a positive mentality and a zest for life she hadn’t had in a very long time. She found herself bouncing out of bed, straight into her en suite shower and was halfway to the dining hall for breakfast before she realised it.

She began by greeting everyone with a chirpy ‘good morning’ she actually wonders whether they’d slipped her some sort of drug during the night, before remembering that she had an important piece of information to discuss with Bernie. 

Meanwhile sitting in her office attempting to wake up, Bernie was sipping her first coffee of the working day, I won’t say first of the day because that’d be untrue, working day fits just fine, from her mug. 

Her feet were thankfully out of her working shoes and resting up on the corner of her desk, why do women’s shoes have to be so damn uncomfortable give her a comfy pair of army boots or theatre shoes any day, her ankles were crossed, the chair partially reclining as she once again watched Serena on her way to the dining hall. 

There was something quite different about her this morning. She was carrying herself differently, more confidently, the way she was walking had a bounce and swagger that certainly wasn’t there on previous observations. She saw her almost skip through the doors to the dining hall, well something or someone had most definitely put a spring in her step. 

She smiled to notice her finally getting there and contemplated who could possibly have put that spring in her step. She hadn’t received any visitors, so the positive influence must either emanate from within these walls or she’s miraculously made excellent progress. 

Bernie put her bare feet back on the floor, still shoeless, then continued to write up some more of the changes she’d had ideas about. 

One of those thoughts was to start an early morning exercise class, like the Chinese doing Tai Chi every morning on a daily basis. She thought she could utilise her extensive military training and run it herself in the peace garden, it was statistically proven to get the adrenaline going and increasing a positive attitude in participants, it would also help her keep on top of her fitness too.

There was a light tapping on her office door, she’d been so preoccupied with what she had been doing and hadn’t been watching the screens, so she failed to notice who it was that had approached her office. 

‘Enter.’

She watches the door open slowly, then surprisingly a very perky Serena steps in carrying two delicious smelling coffees and two warm Danish pastries for them to share for breakfast. 

The broad smile on her face that actually reached her eyes, was soon matched by Bernie’s Cheshire Cat grin as she ushered her into the comfy chair opposite her desk, so she could stare across at her beautiful eyes and face. 

“You didn’t have to bring me breakfast you know.”

“Yes I understand that but it’s been a while since I saw you and so I thought today was the day for me to make the move.”

“Well it’s very nice to see you Serena and thanks for bringing me such a lovely treat to make my day more pleasurable.”

Serena passes the coffee to Bernie and as their fingers touch both feel the sensation passing through and are loath to separate.

“You’re very welcome Bernie.”

They both sit back in their chairs, staring deeply into each other’s eyes while sipping their coffee and picking apart their danish; Serena had her favourite Pain au Chocolate and unbeknownst to her she’d brought Bernie her favourite which was a Cinnamon Whirl. 

The way they licked their fingers while eating was so sensual each woman was physically squirming by the end of their break.

Bernie discussed her idea of early morning classes causing Serena to blanch somewhat. Thinking it was a terrible idea if Serena acted like this at the mention of exercise she was soon informed by the brunette that she had never entered a gym let alone do anything physical outside of the bedroom.

Instantly turning red, Serena couldn’t believe she’d said that sort of thing to another woman let alone someone she’d only known a few months. 

Bernie reassured her that no outsider would enter the hospital because she would be the one to be offering the classes, she regularly does tai chi, yoga and meditation.

“In Lycra?” Serena blurts out.

“If you wish”, Bernie retorts while looking at her through that flipping fringe of hers.

“Oh I do. Yes please.”

A comfortable silence settles on the room before the mobile on the desk makes an unusual ding dong alarm tone advising her of an appointment. She reads her message and just before she’s able to say anything she notices that Serena has gotten up and is almost out of her door.

She turns at the last minute, winks, smiles and is gone leaving Bernie feeling quite deflated by her absence. It wasn’t until she was almost back in her room that she realised she hadn’t mentioned her real reason for her visit.

Oh well next time, she thought as she lay on her bed and daydreamed the rest of the morning away. Feeling extremely nervous but not uncomfortable anymore concerning the topic of her daydreams.


End file.
